Secrets behind a smile
by Daydreamer3792
Summary: Noodle gets attacked after a night out with her friends and finds herself pregnant with 2Ds kid. Chapter 18 now up!
1. What a night!

Chapter one

**Please note: I don't own the Gorillaz!**

It was a chilled November night. A dim light flooded the school entrance. This is where it all began. All the horror, lies and pain formed a heavy burden, which was dropped upon the innocent. It was here that sweet young girl was found brutally murdered and found hanging from the tree by her neck. But that is another story. I hide away as our victim approaches the door. I'm unaware if she can see me, but I can see her.

"That was a great disco Charlie san!"

"Yeah, it was good noodle. But Robbie didn't notice me."

"There are plenty of lads for the taking Charlie. What's so special about Robbie anyway?"

"It's ok for you to talk Noodle. You've got 2-D."

It was true. 2-D and Noodle had been having a relationship for months now. Noodle giggled as she remembered breaking the news to Russel, he hit 2-D over the head with his frying pan and told him to watch it- he didn't want his little sister pregnant at sixteen. Needless to say Noodle wasn't really his sister, but since that day she arrived in the fed-ex crate he had treated her as one. Maybe even a sort of father figure to her.

"Are you getting picked up?" Charlie asked, breaking Noodle from her flashback.

"No, the guys are out partying too. Murdocs at home, but he'll be drunk out of his mind by now."

Charlie giggled. "It must be so strange living with three men. Then again, I have three brothers they're all really smelly!"

The girls had to sit down to recover from their laughing fit, both extremely flushed and gasping for breath.

"That's good Charlie san!" Noodle stammered, choking on tears of laughter.

A black Volvo came roaring down the road at extreme speed.

"My dad's here!"

Charlie leapt up, hugged Noodle and ran over to the car. Noodle waved and watched the car drive off into the distance. She let out a deep sigh.

"I wish the guys could pick me up, instead of getting drunk out of their minds."

She reached into her bag and pulled out her i-pod. After selecting Feel Good Inc (She loved the sound of 2-Ds voice) she began the trek to the bus stop.

Flakes of snow fell from the sky. I chill breeze ran through Noodle.

"Bloody weather." She muttered, zipping up her jacket and pulling on her fingerless mitts. After the steady assent up hill she finally reached the bus stop. The shelter and been burnt down by drunken vandals at some point in the past and little remained of it. Noodle positioned herself behind the sign to avoid the chill of the wind. She stood several minutes, humming the tune to Gravity and tapping her foot to the rhythm. She felt as though someone was watching her. She hated the feeling. Back at Kong you had to always be on your guard, rogue zombies walked the corridors at night searching for someone to kill on a daily basis. She felt something warm on her neck. There was someone behind her. He was breathing on her neck. She grew uncomfortable. She waited a minute to see if they moved, they didn't. She rolled up her sleeves and prepared to give the pervert a good slap when she felt a hand on her waist. She opened her mouth to scream but the offender was one step ahead. Her thrust a ball gag into her mouth causing her to choke and splutter. She stomped on his foot wit her heel.

"You bitch!" He yelled.

He tightened his grip and carried her off into the woods.


	2. A shameful secret

Chapter 2

He threw her on the floor, in the undergrowth beneath a vast oak tree. She couldn't see his face but could tell he was wearing a mask, and dark clothes. The masked figure knelt beside her and whispered in her ear

"You're just going to lie there and do as we say. That way no-one gets hurt. You got that, peaches?"

She glared at him and began thrashing from side to side. He kicked her hard in the side and told her his demand again. This time she nodded.

"Good." He whistled loudly and several other men appeared from the surrounding areas. He pointed at the newcomers, then down at the girl. They understood his order. They took their positions down at the side of Noodle and pinned her to the floor. The masked figure removed his clothes and placed them beside him. He then began tearing at Noodle's clothes. He tore them off and threw them wildly in the air like confetti. He sniggered loudly "Let's do this thing."

The next part of the story is very disturbing, but you probably know what's coming next. I shall put it simply without all the details as it is not a pretty sight.

… They raped her.

As she screamed in pain, the figures holding her down slapped her and laughed at her. They took it in turns at their horrible game, sharing the beatings that brought blood and tears. This horrendous game lasted for a further twenty minutes. It makes me sad to see this happen, but I am doing it for her good. When the main man had had enough of seeing her suffer, he gathered his clothes and pulled on his jeans. He commanded that the other men let her go. She squirmed as they let her go, her body aching and sore. He turned to face her, spat on her face and left her with these words.

"Let that be a lesson to you, you dirty whore! And don't think about going to the police, we know who you are." They ran off into the distance, laughing and joking as if the whole ordeal had never happened.

I feel as though I should have said something, or ran in, boldly to her rescue. But I can't. Nothing I could have done would change the way things are now. It was her fate that got her here and no-one can change it.

The spit stung as it ran down her face with the blood and bitter tears. She lay there, motionless and limp. Taking it all in. A single star blinked shyly at her before hiding behind a bleary cloud. It knew her shame. She should hide from the truth. She slowly sat up, tore the ball gag from her mouth and fought all temptation to scream. She didn't want any trouble. Fresh tears sprang from her eyes as she weakly found her feet. She stumbled over the roots; her arms wrapped over her bare chest and attempted to rescue her clothes.

All she could gather was her mini skirt and jacket. "Those muggers nicked my clothes as well as my dignity." She grumbled, pulling on the tattered remainders of her clothes. She limped slowly to the bus stop, pulled out her compact from her jacket pocket, and wiped the blood from her face. She looked a wreck. "It's amazing if they let me on the bus, I look like a prostitute." A weak smile slithered across her lips. The feeling didn't last long. She longed for a shower; she needed to wash their dirty marks from her body. As she got on the bus the driver gave her a funny look.

"Ad a rough time love?" He asked. Noodle chose to ignore this comment, paid and sat down at the back of the bus. A few of the other passengers stared at her face, and then looked away quickly. She had seen their glares, took out her mirror and gazed into it. She recoiled in shock. Blood was dripping down the side of her face; her eye was black and bloodshot, the blood dripping down from the corners. She pulled up her jacket arm and slowly, began to wipe the blood from her face. She whimpered in agony, determined not to cry. She got off the bus a stop early, as people her talking about her, giving her evil glares and menacing looks. She ran home, despite the zombies active in the graveyard.

She needed no more grief tonight. She burst through the front doors, tears flowing freely down her face. She didn't want to wake the guys so she took the stairs. She ran up three at a time her heart beating fast. She ran down the corridor and into her room. She didn't even change into her nightshirt before collapsing on the bed. She lay, face in her pillow and cried herself to sleep.

Her peace was short lived; a few hours after she drifted off she awoke to a wave of sickness. She dashed to the bathroom, threw up violently numerous times before passing out on the cold lino floor.

Poor Noodle. None of this would have happened if her "Brothers" took more responsibility of her. Such as picking her up from parties and not getting totally wasted most nights. It's a wonder Noodle isn't an alcoholic, living with such brain dead beasts.


	3. Of sickness and underwear

Chapter 3

The next morning 2-D went to wake Noodle and get her up for school. He knocked on her door.

"Noodle love? Time for school. Rise and shine!"

There was no reply. 2-D found this baffling. Noodle was always up for school by now, he nudged open the door and peeked in. Before going in he covered his eyes and asked "Are you descent?" he didn't want to scare her. He opened his eyes and saw she wasn't there.

"Noodle?" He questioned. Needless to say there was no reply.

"Maybe she's in the bathroom." He thought to himself.

He walked out of Noodles room closing the door behind him. He turned on his heel and headed towards the bathroom. He knocked twice before entering. As he opened the door, it hit something on the other side. He looked through the gap and screamed. Noodle was lying on the floor. She had dry blood on her face and around her eyes. She looked as though she had been beaten. 2-D screamed again, louder this time.

"What is it man?" Russel asked.

2-D was stood, frozen by the bathroom door.

"Noodles in there." He stammered.

"You mean you've just seen her naked and she hit you?" Russel laughed jokingly.

"Look for yourself." 2-D grabbed Russel and held his head to the gap.

"Oh man." Russel groaned. "This isn't good."

Rather than bashing Noodle with the door Russel tore it straight off its hinges. Both men ran in, 2-D stood above her shaking. Russel knelt on the floor next to her and put a hand on her forehead. She was stone cold. Her face more pale than usual.

"How long do you reckon she's been here?"

"All night I'd guess D. She's still wearing what she wore to the party."

"Is she drugged?" 2-D shuddered at the thought.

"I don't think so; we need to bring her round. Pass me some water."

2-D filled up a nearby jug with water and handed it to Russel silently. Russel dipped his fingers in the water and began flicking Noodle with little splashes of water. 2-D sat on the floor and held her hand. He shivered. She was freezing. Several minutes later Noodle let out a weak cough. She groaned and tried to lift her head.

"Where am I?" She muttered weakly.

"You're in the bathroom baby girl."

"Why am I here Russel-san?"

I don't know Noods, you tell me."

Russel picked her up and carried her down stairs.

"No school for you today." Russ said as he laid Noodle on the sofa.

"OWW!" Noodle yelped. Grasping her stomach, tears began falling down her face.

"What the hell's up with her?" Murdoc rudely sneered.

"We don't know muds, 2-D found her unconscious on the bathroom floor."

"Whatever."

"You could be a bit more considerate muds, she's not well." 2-D braved, stroking Noodles face and wiping her eyes.

"Shut it face ache or you'll be the one who's unconscious!"

2-D cowered and took all his attention to Noodle. She was still crying and staring at the wall in the distance. Dried blood around her eyes and streaked in her hair. It was then 2-D noticed she wasn't wearing any panties. He kept this to himself as he didn't think it would be any use to mention it and he didn't want to embarrass her.

He went to grab her hand but she batted it away. This confused him greatly. He may only be simple in the head but he knew something was really wrong with Noodle. She loved him and would never object to a hug or him holding her hand. He looked at her face; she was looking straight through him.

"Here you go baby-girl."

Russel put a glass of water on the table next to the sofa and two painkillers. This reminded 2-D of his headache.

He'd had no time for self pity this morning and had forgotten about his own issues inside his head. Noodle looked at the painkillers and sighed. She couldn't tell them what had happened; the guy in the park had her mobile and her address. He could come after her, possibly kill her. 2-D pulled her upper body up.

"Here you go love." He said solemnly, positioning the painkillers in her hands.

"Thank you 2-D-san."

She swallowed the painkillers and downed the water in one go. The painkillers could take away the pain in her stomach but they couldn't get rid of the horrible memories in her head. She sat right up and tucked her legs up to her stomach; she could hear Murdoc and Russel fighting in the kitchen. She couldn't tell them, they wouldn't understand. The gorgeous aroma of pancakes filled the TV. room. Noodles stomach groaned.

"You hungry darling?"

"Yeh."

The truth was she felt empty inside, not even Russel's delicious pancakes could make that feeling go away.

Russel came into the TV room carrying a tray two foot high of pancakes.

"Here you go guys, just try and eat something Noods. Ok?"

"Yes Russel-san."

The pair began tearing away at the stack eating noisily. Noodle suddenly stopped, without warning she puked all over herself. Her eyes wide, she was shaking violently- uncontrollably.

"Noodle?" 2-D sat and stared in shock.

Her eyes went white and she fell onto the floor still shaking violently.

"NOODLE!" 2-D screamed and burst into tears.

"What's that racket?" Murdoc grumbled running into the TV room.

"Bloody hell!" Murdoc stood in the doorway, his eyes fixed upon Noodle who was still shaking violently, her face ghostly pale, eyes white.

"LARDS! GET IN HERE NOW!"

Russel leapt down the stairs and raced into the room.

"Oh man, this aint good at all. She's having a fit."

The two guys stared at him with blank expressions.

"So what do we do?" 2-D stammered, choking on his tears.

Without answering Russel moved the table and pushed the sofa back. He told the others to stand back; he turned to Noodle who was still convulsing on the floor. He walked slowly up to her and put her in the recovery position.

"If she's still doing that in five minutes we gotta call an ambulance."

"Shit, this is scary."

2-D and Russel stared at the Satanist. It was an odd remark even for him. All eyes then fell back to Noodle.

She'd stopped shaking, but was deathly pale. Her eyes were open, and still white. Russel knelt down next to her. He waved his hand slowly in front of her eyes. They didn't move.

"She's not conscious guys."

Gently, he moved her over onto her side and put her back into the recovery position.

"We need to find out what happened last night. This shouldn't happen; she seems to be hiding something from us."

Murdoc and 2-D sat down on the sofa in silence. They weren't entirely stupid, they knew Russel was right.

Ten minutes slowly passed before Noodle finally came round. The guys just sat on the sofa keeping a close eye on her. She tried to get up; a fiery pain in her abdomen stopped her. She let out a muffled sob. The guys tensed, they thought she was having another fit. 2-D slid off the sofa and sat next to her on the floor. He wrapped his arms around her around sat her up. She winced in pain. Spots were starting to appear in front of her eyes.

"2-D-san, I'm going dizzy." She slurred, clutching 2-D's shirt for support. He picked her up and sat her on the sofa in between Murdoc and Russel.

"What just happened?"

"Trust me Noods; I think it's best if you didn't know."

She sighed.

"I'm scared." She mumbled, tucking her legs up to her chest.

"It's all right now love, do you want to go for a lie down?"

"Yeh, I still don't feel normal."

"Noodle sweetheart, you never were normal!" Murdoc laughed at his own joke.

"Very funny Muds. You're well harsh."

2-D scooped up Noodle in his arms and carried her up to her room. She was very light for a sixteen year old, very skinny too. When he got to Noodles room he sat her on the bed and began rummaging for some nightclothes. After rescuing a nightshirt from Mike's basket he turned round and began to undress her. After all, he'd seen it all before. He undid Noodles jacket and was shocked to find that she wasn't wearing a t shirt. He knew she wasn't wearing a bra because he saw her get dressed last night. He suggested she go bra-less with a strapless top. He looked into her eyes and was about to question why no panties or t shirt, he saw that absent look on her face. She seemed to be on a different planet. He quickly put on the nightshirt and found her a clean pair of panties.

He lay next to her in silence. Why is she like this? He thought to himself.

"Is there anything I can get you?"

"A bucket would be a good idea 2-D-san, I think I'm going to puke again."

2-D ran down the hall as fast as he could, grabbed a bucket and dashed back to Noodle's room. He gave it to her just in time. 2-D shuddered at the horrible sound coming out of Noodle's mouth. When she'd finished he wiped her mouth and cleaned out the bucket.

"Bye love."

2-D kissed Noodle on the forehead and left the room in silence. She was left alone.


	4. You're not alone

Chapter 4

All alone

2-D sighed heavily as he closed the door. He hated seeing Noodle so miserable, it made him feel so much worse when she couldn't tell him why. He stood, fixed out side her room, lost deep in thought.

"Ey face ache!"

2-D jumped suddenly causing him to lose his train of thought. Murdoc appeared beside him.

"Is she alright?" His tone soft.

The sound of muffled tears followed by vomit emitted through the door.

"Does it sound like she's ok?" 2-D said sarcastically, his eyes glaring at Murdoc. He blushed a vivid red.

"Sorry mate, am only worried about her. She scared the living shit out of me earlier; I just hope she's going to be alright."

He scuttled off down the corridor sheepishly without looking back. 2-D stood staring at the empty space the Satanist had occupied.

"I'm such a bastard when I'm cranky. I need some pills and a lie down."

The voice in his head was right. He'd come back and check on Noodle in an hour or so. Maybe then she'd be willing to talk to him. Without second thought, he turned and headed down to the basement.

Noodle tossed and turned in her sleep. Horrible images of the previous night invading her dreams. She awoke with a scream. Sweat dripping down her spine, tears flooding her eyes. She looked at the clock on the wall, it was quarter past four. She heard a loud grunt from outside and heavy foot steps coming up the corridor. She leapt out of bed and grabbed her scythe. She ducked down in the furthest corner in her room, scythe at hand to stab any dead guests. The door burst open causing her to scream again, she held a hand above her face and her scythe ready. Russel bounded in, frying pan in hand; ready to whack any unwanted visitors to hell and back. All he found was a rather distressed Noodle cowering in the corner of her room. Scythe in hand.

"Noodle-girl, what's wrong?"

He dropped the pan and walked slowly over to Noodle. She dropped the scythe and hung her head in her knees.

"Noods?" The big drummer's voice softened to a whisper. He wrapped his vast arms round her tiny frame and held her close. She was cold, and sweaty.

"What happened love?"

She looked up at him, big emerald eyes glistening with tears.

"Oh Russel-san, I had a really bad nightmare."

She hugged her knees and began rocking back and forth- whimpering slightly. Russel didn't know what to do. He looked down at her, she looked so miserable; he wished he could help her. He just didn't know how.

Noodle grabbed her stomach and let out a feeble moan. She crawled across the bedroom and emptied her stomach into the bucket. Shaking and weak. Russel stood behind her, holding back her hair. When she'd finished she slumped on the floor and groaned.

"Come on baby-girl, let's get you downstairs."

He helped her to her feet but her legs were frail and gave way. He caught her, surprised by his speed.

"Whoa Noods!" She was shaking and was very pale. He took off his jacket and wrapped it round the tiny figure in his arms. He picked her up and carried her out of the room.

He took her downstairs and back into the TV room. It was deserted.

"Just you and me."

He sighed and lowered Noodle onto the sofa. He went into the kitchen and began to prepare some drinks. Noodle stared at the floor. A faint mark was left from this morning, she shuddered, the memories were everywhere. Russel returned with two mugs of hot chocolate and a packet of jaffa cakes. He deposited the goods on the table and sat down next to Noodle.

"We need to talk."

He looked at Noodle, a serious expression on his face,

"I gotta ask you something, please don't be offended, it's just I've been thinking."

"Yes Russel-san?" Noodle took a large sip from the milky drink she'd been nursing in her hands.

"Well, I know you and Stu have been very close over the past two years and thought that maybe you"

"I what Russel-san?"

"I thought you might be pregnant."

Noodle dropped the mug of hot chocolate and stared at Russel.

"It's only a thought." Russel soothed. "Its just you've been all emotional this past week and you've got that crippling pain in your stomach. It all fits."

Noodle panicked. She'd never thought about that. She remembered the previous night and burst into tears. She and 2-D did get very close on Halloween- her sixteenth birthday. Maybe she was. Maybe it wasn't 2-D's though. She screamed at the thought and slumped back into the sofa.

"Man I told him to be careful. I'll get him for this."

"No russel-san! If I am pregnant we can sort it out. Please don't hurt him. It's as much my fault as it is his."

She looked up at him with big innocent eyes.

"Ok, we'd better get you down to the doctors."

"No. Don't like the doctors." Noodle pouted and stuck out her chin in a childish manner.

"You aint got a choice Noods." He said launching himself at her and tickling her ribs. She laughed and tried to stop him but he was far too strong. She sat in fits of helpless giggles begging him to stop. He eventually ceased and pulled her up into a bear hug.

"It's going to be all right Noods."


	5. Noodle's diary

Chapter 5

Noodle's diary

8th November

Dear diary,

I'm pregnant.

After yesterdays discussion with Russel-san he thought it would be best to get me check out. We got back this morning. I don't know whether to be happy or sad. Everywhere I look I'm reminded of that night. It could be HIS baby. It's not that likely though. Russel-san thinks its 2-D' kid. We did get a bit carried away on my birthday- we didn't use protection. None of them know I was raped. They think I was drunk or drugged up, but I'm not that stupid.

We've got to break the news to Murdoc and 2-D-san yet. I'm worried what Murdoc will say. 2-D will be happy and glad for me but I don't know about Murdoc. I want to keep it. I couldn't stand the emotions of an abortion, neither could 2-D. We'd also have the press on our backs constantly for months. I can't stand them. We're gonna tell them later. I'll get Russel-san to help me. I'm going to need a lot of support. I keep been sick and its making me down.

2-D can cheer me up.

I'm going to tell Russel-san I'm ready to break the news.

Sayonara

Noodle

XXXXX


	6. Important news

Chapter 6

Noodle snapped her diary shut. This was going to be harder than she thought. She brushed the hair out of her eyes, stood up and hid her diary in the back of the wardrobe. She pulled out a jacket and headed down the corridor to Russel's room. The corridor was dark and cold. The heating had broken in Kong and no man was stupid enough to come and fix it. She walked faster. There was always that feeling that you weren't alone in these corridors. She arrived outside Russel's room and knocked twice. There was no answer. She knocked again, louder this time. There was a loud bang followed by the sound of heavy footsteps. She looked behind her. There was no-one there. She felt a cold hand on her shoulder and let out a small shriek.

"It's only me Noods. What can I do for you?"

The big drummer scared her big time. He turned her round and looked down at her. Little beads of sweat were forming on her forehead.

"Russel-san, you scared me."

"Sorry love." His voice was soft and gentle.

"I want to tell the guys the news but want your assistance." She looked up at him, a picture of innocence.

"I can't say no to a lady in need." He stepped out of his room and shut the door behind him. Noodle sniggered. Imagine, her a lady. As far as Russel was concerned she was still a little girl. He took her hand and they walked down the dark corridor together. She felt safe with Russel around.

They got down to the TV room to find the guys already there. Murdoc sat on the sofa in his underpants, beer in one hand, TV remote in the other. 2-D was sat in a large plush armchair looking very lost and staring into space. Russel coughed to alert the guys attention was required.

"Listen up guys, Noods has got some important news for you."

Three pairs of eyes stared at Noodle. 2-D broken from his trance to hear the news.

"Come on woman! I've got a movie to watch." Murdoc groaned and scratched his crotch.

"You know 2-D and I have been very close over the past two years. Well…"

"Well what?" Murdoc was getting impatient.

Noodle walked slowly up to 2-D and sat down in his lap.

"I'm pregnant" She stuttered, wrapping her arms tight around 2-D's waist, waiting for the explosion. The room was silent. Noodle looked up, locked eyes with 2-D. A toothy grin fixed upon his face.

"Aw love that's fantastic!" 2-D squeezed Noodle hard.

Noodle felt a cold bony hand on her shoulder. She looked up. Murdoc was stood looking down on her. He wasn't smiling.

"I'm so sorry Murdoc-san. I can understand if you're mad with me." She hung her head like a disobedient puppy.

"Love, I won't mind on one condition."

"Hmm?"

"Can I teach them to play the bass?"

Noodle looked up at Murdc and smiled.

"Of course you can Murdoc-san!"

"Great!" The Satanist smiled and picked up Noodle. He span her round and round in his arms just like he used to do all those years ago. He dropped her back in 2-D's arms and kissed her on the forehead.

"Just be sure the dullard looks after you."

"Oh I will Muds, don't worry about that." 2-D's smile still glued to his face.

"You've made an old git really happy."

The whole room was in an uproar. Noodle was glad the way the guys had taken the news. She hugged 2-D tightly and breathed in his butterscotch smell. She hadn't been happier for weeks.


	7. Massacre in the kitchen

Chapter 7

2 months quickly passed and Noodle was blossoming. A small but perfectly formed bump stuck out for all to see. Everyone was happy. Everyone except Noodle.

2-D hadn't noticed a change in his little Noodle. As far as she was concerned he was on a different planet to the rest of them. He was always happy, a smile permanently stood on his face. Noodle was blue.

One particularly dismal morning, Noodle was sat in the kitchen with Russel. He was making waffles and the aroma was making her feel sick. Russel noticed that something wasn't quite right about her; she seemed really emotional, and kind of lost.

"What wrong Noods?"

She didn't reply. She sat hands on her stomach staring out of the window.

"Noods?"

"What!?" Noodle screeched.

"What do you want!" Noodle was no longer sat on the chair but stood as close to Russel as her bump permitted. Russel put his hands on her shoulders.

"You seem really tense Noods, is there anything you want to talk about?"

"Tense! You have no bloody idea!" Noodle screamed as she picked up a plate and smashed it to the floor. Her face blushing a violent shade of pink. She was tense all right. Russel turned off the waffle grill and left for his bedroom. He didn't want to be a part of this.

Noodle stood in silence. She punched the table hard so all the cutlery jingled. She sat back on the chair and rest he head on the table. She was stressed, she couldn't control her anger. She felt tears begin to flow down her cheeks. She was so fed up with herself. She saw a glimmer of light shine from the table. She lifted her head and looked in its direction. The glimmer was caused by a knife.

Noodle stared at the knife. It was sharp; Russel used it to slice meat. She felt herself walking towards it. It was calling to her. She picked it up and ran her finger across the top of the blade. Blood trickled down her finger. She sniggered. It felt good. She swapped hands and ran the blade over her wrist. Blood rose to the surface. She felt no pain, she felt release. In a mad trance she brought the knife down more forcefully, dragging it up and down her arm, blooding gushing from the gashes she had made. She held out her hand, rested it on the table and held the knife point to the centre. She engraved an N in the palm of her hand, with each stroke forcing the blade further into her hand. She stopped suddenly. Realising what she had done, she let out a blood curdling scream. The knife fell from her hand, clattered on the floor and sprayed blood all over the cupboards. She looked down at her arm, pain exploding from all directions. She screamed again. Her arm looked as though it had been butchered. At the top of her wrist she could clearly see a vein. Blood spurting out with every pulse.

Murdoc had heard the commotion and came running.

"Noodle love what's the matter?" He ran up the stairs and into the kitchen.

"Noodle I …"

He stopped before he could finish his sentence. There was blood all over the place; it was on the walls and dripping over the side of some of the countertops. He could hear frantic breathing. He looked around, registering what might have happened when he saw her. She was sat on a stool in the corner of the room. Blood pouring from gashes in her arms, running down her face and trickling down to the floor. A butcher knife clearly visible in her left hand. Her body was shaking and her face going pale.

"Murdoc, I I …" She collapsed mid sentence and fell off the stool, body sprawled out across the bloody floor. Her hand opened and revealed a deep cut in the shape of an N. The knife next to it.

Murdoc stared in disbelief at the massacre scene that lay before him. He couldn't move. He managed to stutter a short sentence before dropping to the floor next to her lifeless figure.

"What happened to ya love?"


	8. We gotta talk

Chapter 8

Murdoc stared in disbelief at the bloody, lifeless figure that lay before him. Why had she done this? Murdoc thought back over the previous two months and couldn't think of anything that would make her do something so extreme. She'd always seemed so happy.

He snapped quickly back to reality, his guitarist was laying face first in a pool of her own blood and he was just sat, staring at her. He needed to act fast, she was losing a lot of blood, and there was the baby too. She would be heartbroken if it was to die. He leapt up and began rummaging through the kitchen cupboards. He pulled out several towels and threw them on the floor. He knelt down beside her and gently rolled her over. Her eyes were open, glaring fiercely into space.

"LARDS! I need help in here!" his voice was harsh and abrupt.

"RUSS! Noodle needs you!"

Russel came bounding down the corridor and stopped at the door. His mouth wide open.

"What the?"

"No time to explain, just get your fat arse over here and help me."

Russel knelt next to Noodle's limp body and listened for further instructions.

Murdoc slid his arms round Noodle's back and slowly pulled her up into the sitting position.

"Hold her still, in need to bandage her wounds."

Russel shuffled forwards and supported Noodle's upper body against his stomach. He brushed the hair out of her eyes and recoiled in shock at what he saw. Her eyes were wide open, blood streaked across her pale face. Murdoc began tearing the towels into strips. He turned over Noodle's right arm and began to apply the makeshift bandages. Russel was silent. He couldn't believe his eyes. He blinked hard and looked at her other arm. There were no gashes, but streaks of crimson blood. Etched into the centre of her hand was an N. Russel looked away. He couldn't stand blood.

"Almost done."

Murdoc secured the bandages on her right arm and turned his attention to her hand. He took a long thin strip of towel and began wrapping it round her hand, above her thumb. He covered the wound and tied all her fingers together at the top.

"Bloody hell Russ." Murdoc sighed and threw the rest of the bandages across the room.

"What the hell does she think she's doing? I heard her scream so I came up from the Winnie to see what was up with her. When I got here she was sat on the stool over there, shaking and holding the butcher knife."

"I don't know what's wrong with her Muds, but she was really tense. I asked her what was wrong and she lashed out at me. Smashed a plate on the floor and stood there fuming. I left her to cool down coz I don't like it when she's in a mood. It's kind of scary."

Murdoc looked at Russel.

"She's scaring both of us."

They sat there for a while. Looking at each other and talking about Noodle. They didn't know what was wrong with her. It was so un-natural. Some time shortly after the pair sat in stony silence, Noodle's hand twitched.

"Did you see that?"

"Yeh."

Russel put his hand in Noodles and jumped when her hand closed tight around it.

"Noods?"

Her eyes were still open and apart from closing her hand she was still lifeless. Murdoc put his hand to her head, she was freezing. He took off his jacket and passed it to Russel. He lifted her upper body and wrapped the jacket round her bony frame. Russel wrapped his arms round her, hugging her close. She was really starting to scare him.

Her body tensed. Russel pulled away from her fast.

"Noods can you hear me?"

A small sob, followed by low groaning came from the figure in his arms.

"I hear you Russel-san."

Her head was hanging down and she wouldn't look up. She let out a ragged sigh and brought up her hand to rub her head. She must have banged it when she fell off the stool. She stopped before her hand reached her head. She shrieked and fell back, landing in Murdoc's arms.

"What have I done to myself?"

She stuttered through tears. Staring at the bloody bandages that were wrapped all the way up her arm and over her hand.

"I've got no idea Noodle but you nearly killed yourself."

Murdoc turned her round so they were face to face. His expression a cross of serious and lost.

"You, Russ and I have got a lot of talking to do."

He looked as though he was about to cry.

"We need to know what's bothering you love, it can't be as bad as this." He stoked her arm in gesture.

"You've got too much to live for and we've got to sort you out now."

Noodle was still crying. She knew he was right, but she couldn't tell him what was really on her mind. It was probably too late now anyway, they could have left the country.

"Come here."

Murdoc pulled Noodle up into his lap and hugged her close. He could smell the dry blood in her hair.

"I love you too much to lose you like that."

Noodle's shirt had risen up over her bump and her stomach was sticking out. She winced; it was starting to feel uncomfortable. Murdoc stroked her stomach.

"Everyone alright in there?"

Noodle giggled.

"We're fine now."

"Come on, let's get out of here."

Murdoc stood up. Stretched himself out and helped Noodle to her feet.

"Want a lift?"

Before she had time to answer he'd already lifted her up off the floor and draped her over his shoulders.

"I know the perfect cure for something like this. TV."

He marched out the kitchen with Noodle on his shoulders and headed for the TV room.


	9. A little understanding

Chapter 9

Murdoc carried Noodle all the way down to the TV room before dropping her softly on to the sofa. He sat down next to her and smiled. This was a serious matter; he couldn't help but smile when he saw Noodle was OK. Her smile was so infectious. Russel followed them down the stairs and turned left at the bottom.

"I'm gonna go get D. I think he should be a part of this conversation."

Murdoc didn't say anything, he just nodded. Noodle yawned and scratched her head.

"You ant got concussion or owt like that av you love? I don't want you puking all over me and passing out again. I've had enough contact with your bodily fluids the past two months than necessary."

Noodle giggled.

"I'm fine. Well. At least I think I am."

She rubbed her head and stared down at her stomach. It seemed to have gotten larger in the past five minutes.

"I'm getting a headache though."

"I can solve that."

Murdoc and Noodle turned round. Stood in the doorway was 2-D.

He walked slowly over to Noodle and held out his arms. She took hold of them and he pulled her up, been careful to avoid bandaged areas. He guided her over to the other sofa and sat her down. Went into the kitchen and brought back some of his headache tablets. They vanished in seconds. Russel re-appeared, armed with four mugs of frothy hot chocolate and a packet of Jaffas. He sat down in the chair opposite Murdoc and took a sip of one of the hot chocolates.

"So, let's talk."

All three guys turned and looked at Noodle. They were determined to find out what was on her mind. The questioning began.

"Are you on drugs?"

"No."

"Are you having an affair?"

Noodle bent over and started shaking.

"Noodle!?"

"Its alright Muds, she's laughing. Look."

2-D leant over and slowly pulled Noodle back. Her face was bright red and tears were forming in her eyes. She was still shaking.

"Bloody hell girl! You scared me."

"Sorry Murdoc-san. It was just so funny. I'd never leave 2-D, there's no-one who even comes close to compare against him."

She shifted up the sofa and wrapped her arms tight around 2-D's waist. He moved the hair from her face and kissed her softly on the lips.

"Moving on."

The questioning continued.

2-D noticed that Noodle still seemed kind of tense. Whilst she was been interrogated he pulled her up onto his lap. Lifted up her shirt and began rubbing her back. Noodle melted like butter. He continued this most of the questioning. Suddenly her body went limp and she fell forwards. 2-D wrapped his arms round her waist and lowered her slowly to the floor.

"Has she?" Russel sat on the edge of his seat.

2-D put his face to her mouth to see if she was breathing.

"It's alright guys. She's asleep."

The guys all sighed.

"That's a relief."

"So what have we come up with then?" Naturally, 2-D hadn't been listening all the way through and couldn't remember a single thing mentioned.

"We think it's her hormones."

"There's no other explanation for it. She swears she's telling the truth about everything else so we're gonna have to presume that's the answer."

Murdoc was getting quite stressed himself now.

"I'm off to the Winnie. Shout me if anything else happens. OK?"

And with that he stormed out the room.

Russel and 2-D exchanged glances. Since when has Murdoc been so caring? It was kind of freaky. 2-D looked to the floor and realised that Noodle was still there.

"Russ, give us a hand will you."

The two men lifted her up and put her back on the sofa. She groaned slightly and mumbled something in Japanese. She must be dreaming. Russel left the room and went to clean up the kitchen. He figured no-one else would do it so he'd better start now.

2-D perched on the end of the sofa. Noodle looked so innocent when she was asleep. He gently lifted her head and positioned it on his knees. He began singing one of Noodle's favourite songs- Every Planet We Reach Is Dead- and stroking her face with his loving hand.


	10. Secrets behind a smile

Chapter 10

The following months slowly passed by. Russel and Murdoc were on high alert- watching Noodle like hawks. Noodle was slowly finding ways to release her anger without hurting herself or her brothers. After another close encounter with a knife 2-D thought it was best if all sharp objects were locked away or put out of Noodle's reach. Russel locked all the knives in a cupboard and kept the key with him all the time. He threw out the butcher knife as he couldn't bring himself to use it after what Noodle had done with it. The only thing 2-D couldn't hide was Noodle's razor. Instead he followed her into the bathroom and sat with her while she shaved, just in case she tried anything stupid while no-one was around. She didn't.

When she was feeling low or angry, she threw herself at the sofa, hid her face in the cushions and screamed. Murdoc and Russel chose to ignore her when she did this. They knew that this was her way of calming down and thought it best not to intervene. 2-D on the other hand was always there beside her. He was there to dry her tears and cheer her up when she was low. If he was lucky he could sneak in a quick snog whilst he was there as well. This really cheered Noodle up.

Noodle was slowly turning back to her former self. She was more bubbly and lively. She was controlling her anger and rarely lashed out at them, but most importantly, she hardly ever cried.

So. Things were starting to look up for the gang. Noodle was controlling her anger, her wounds had healed but left freaky scars and she was been more like herself. The problem is, she wasn't. She wasn't cutting herself again- no, she wasn't that stupid. She had found another way to end her life and was slowly working on it. She wasn't happy and bubbly when the guys weren't around. She was sad. She'd sit in her room for hours on end, crying and writing in her diary about how bad her life was, and how she didn't know how much more she could take.

Things are about to get worse.


	11. The secrets out

Chapter 11

2-D groaned as he rolled over and looked at the clock. 1:23AM. this was getting out of hand. He turned round to see the bathroom light on, the door was open and muffled sobs could be heard. 2-D pulled himself out of bed and crept into the bathroom. Noodle was stood over the toilet one hand on her stomach, the other leaning on the wall for support. She retched violently, and let out a weak moan.

"Oh love."

2-D walked over to Noodle, stood behind her and pulled the hair back from her face as she continued to vomit.

"This ain't right Noods. I'm no expert, but I know you shouldn't still be sick like this."

The only reply was weak cry.

"Have you finished?"

"Mmm."

2-D flushed the toilet and put the lid down. He manoeuvred Noodle and sat her on the lid. He grabbed a damp face cloth and slowly wiped her face. She looked awful. So pale. He grabbed an empty tumbler and filled it with water.

"Here love. You need to drink this."

Noodle took the tumbler and drained it in seconds.

"Come on. Let's get you back to bed."

2-D leant over and helped Noodle to her feet. He guided her into the bedroom and sat her on the bed. He lifted her legs up and twisted her round so she was lying down. Her head propped up slightly with pillows.

"You alright?"

"Not really. It hurts here."

Noodle took 2-Ds hand, lifted up her shirt and positioned it over her bump. 2-D stroked it softly and jumped when her felt a kick.

"Agh." Noodle gasped.

"Excuse me. You're going to be a good little girl and let mummy get some sleep, aren't you?"

Obviously there was no reply. Noodle giggled. He was so simple, yet so sweet. He brought his hand up to Noodle's face and stroked it gently. He leant over and caught her in a deep kiss.

"Sleep tight love."

He positioned the covers over both of them and turned out the light.

2-D was asleep in minutes. Noodle couldn't. She tried for hours, but just couldn't drift off. The pain in her stomach was keeping her awake. She leant over 2-D and looked at the clock. It was 4:34AM. She'd been trying to sleep for over 3 hours. She slowly sat up, pulled her legs up to her bulging stomach and sat- in a ball sobbing and talking to her self in her mother tongue.

2-D woke around 5AM. He turned round to check on Noodle and found her sat up, body curled tight in a ball. He scooted over to see what was wrong. As he got closer he could tell she was talking- in Japanese. She was crying too.

"What's wrong love?"

Her head shot up and she glanced around the room. She found herself face to face with 2-D.

"Hallo 2-Dsan." She stopped, her eyes closed tightly and she let out a low moan.

"It really hurts."

She rubbed her stomach and continued to sob helplessly.

"I think I can help you there love."

2-D stood up and pulled on yesterday's jeans and a clean shirt. He walked round to Noodle's side of the bed and scooped her up into his arms. Despite been 6 months pregnant she was really light. 2-D carried her out the room, across the car-park and up to the TV room. He lowered her onto the sofa and told her to wait for him. He disappeared off into the kitchen.

Russel was in the kitchen making his morning sandwich when 2-D burst in and began rummaging through the top cupboards.

"Hey D, what you looking for?"

"Painkillers."

"What, you ran out or something?"

"No. There for Noodle. She's been up all night crying and says her stomach really hurts. She's still been sick too."

"Whoa. Slow down. Firstly, I wouldn't give her any of that shit you take- it can't be good for her or the kid. Secondly, sickness should stop just after the second month. When is she sick?"

"Early morning usually."

"How long has this been going on for?"

"Most night for the past few months."

"That ain't right. Let's go talk to her. I think we'd better take her to the hospital about the stomach pains."

Russel abandoned the sandwich and dragged 2-D down to the TV room.

Noodle was sat up on the sofa, curled into a ball with her legs as far to her chest as she could, not crying as fiercely but sobbing still.

"Baby girl."

She looked up and saw Russel towering over her.

"Hi Russel-san."

She groaned and rubbed her stomach.

"How bad is the pain?"

Noodle took his hand and when the next wave of pain hit she squeezed, hard.

"Ok. A lot. D go get her some clean clothes. We better take her down to the hospital."

2-D headed up to Noodle's room and left Russel and Noodle alone.

"I'm ill Russel-san."

"I know. D said you're still been sick on a morning."

"I don't want to die Russel-san."

Russel looked down at the small girl on the sofa.

"You're not gonna die Noods."

"Yes I am."

Russel cleared the hair from her face, her eyes were bloodshot from all the crying and her face was going really pink.

"I'm burning up."

"Take off that hoody thing."

"I've not got anything underneath."

"I've seen it all before Noods. We need to cool you down."

"Ok."

Noodle put her legs down and let Russel take off her sweater. He threw it on the floor and lowered Noodle so she was lying down.

"That's better."

Noodle mumbled, she shut her eyes and wrapped her arms round her stomach. Russel stared at Noodle and gasped.

"Noods. What have you done to yourself?"

Meanwhile up in Noodle's room

2-D cursed as he tore through boxes of shirts and pants. He couldn't find any trousers that looked as though they'd still fit Noodle. He'd found a blouse, a bra and a pair of panties but no trousers. He was about to give up when he found a box that he'd not looked it before. It was a small wooden crate and his curiosity had gotten the better of him. He opened the lid and inside was a small pink journal. He put the clothes in a pile on the floor and sat on the bed. He'd just found Noodle's diary. He knew he shouldn't, but he had to read it. He was sure she was hiding something from them. He flicked through the pages and began to read.

He stared in shock at the words on the page. It all made sense. He couldn't believe what she'd been living with the past few months. His poor little love.

"D! Get down here now!"

2-D jumped up, grabbed the clothes and the diary and ran downstairs.

Back in the TV room

2-D ran into the room, face pink with running.

"What is it Russ?"

The big drummer had tears in his eyes.

"Look what she's done to herself."

He turned round and showed 2-D Noodle's body. He'd pinned her down so she couldn't run away and now she was frantic and screaming. She stopped dead when she saw what 2-D had in his hands.

"Where did you find it?"

Oh boy, now she was really mad.

"Noodle, it's ok. It's gonna be alright."

"Have you read it?"

"I'm sorry Noodle I had to."

Noodle burst into tears and 2-D ran over to her. Russel let go of her and 2-D wrapped his arms tight around her.

"What are you on about D?"

"See for yourself."

2-D pushed the diary across the floor and Russel picked it up. He flicked through and began to read.

I feel so dirty and used. I feel as though my insides have been torn out and run over by a bus. … I can't tell the guys I was raped, they'll think I'm drunk or had drugs last night. But I'm not that stupid. … My life isn't worth living anymore, in life; all I do is cause pain and upset those close to me. … I can't take this no more; I can't live knowing that the kid may not be 2-D's. I can't live with all this secrecy and pain. … Murdoc saved me from killing myself, I wish he'd never found me. … I'm starving myself to death. I've had enough of my life and want to end it as soon as possible. I'd shoot myself but can't find a gun. …

He snapped the book shut. He'd read enough.

"Why? Why didn't you tell us?"

He looked at Noodle with tears in his eyes.

"I couldn't. I just wanted to forget about it and get things back to normal. I didn't think you'd believe me, especially when you found me unconscious on the floor."

"Of course we'd believe you."

Russel took Noodle's hand and held it tight.

"We're gonna sort this out. Today."

"It's too late."

Noodle went limp and fainted in 2-D's arms.

"I can't believe she never told us."

"I feel awful Russ. How come I didn't notice all this going on?"

He traced his fingers over the bones sticking out of Noodle's back and ribcage.

"It's not your fault D. She kept it hidden."

"Look at her!"

2-D screamed in hysterics.

"I'm gonna kill that bastard that did this to her."

"So am I D. So am I."


	12. Don't leave me like this

Chapter 12

Noodle awoke in a strange room. The walls were painted a vile off white and she was surrounded by bright lights.

"Where am I?"

"You're in hospital love."

Noodle looked round. Where had that voice come from?

"Over here love."

Noodle looked to her left and saw a nurse fiddling with a drip at the side of her bed.

"Welcome back."

She stopped fiddling with the drip and felt Noodle's forehead.

"Mm, you're warm."

The nurse took on of the sheets from Noodle's bed and disappeared out the room. Noodle continued to gaze around the room. Who'd brought her here? How long had she been here? Her thoughts were interrupted by footsteps outside.

"Baby girl."

"Russel-san!"

Russel came into the room, closely followed by Murdoc and 2-D.

"What am I doing here?"

The guys all took a chair at the side of her bed.

"I'm surprised you've not noticed."

Murdoc leant over her and grabbed her arm gently.

"Does this ring any bells?"

Noodle looked down at her arm and sighed. She could see the bones sticking out and her elbow stuck out alarmingly.

"I see."

She sobbed slightly and tears began to form in her eyes.

"I can't keep putting you guys through with this."

Noodle tore the drip from her arm and threw it across the room.

"Just let me die."

"Noodle STOP!"

2-D yelled at Noodle and ran to retrieve the drip.

"We've got some good news for you."

Russel took Noodle's hand and held it tight.

"What?"

Noodle was crying and her voice has harsh.

"We've caught him."

"Who?"

Noodle's expression puzzled.

"Alberto Kossington. Your rapist."

Noodle went white.

"That's impossible. How did you find him?"

"You're gonna hate me for this Noods, when we bought you your mobile for your 13th birthday we had a tracker installed in it. Whenever you went out alone we could track your location and make sure you were where you said you were. We followed the tracker and found Alberto hiding in an abandoned factory in Wales. The police have him behind bars. You're safe now."

Noodle continued to cry. She couldn't believe they'd found him after all this time.

"Come here love."

Russel knelt down and wrapped his bulky arms round Noodle's small frame.

"It's gonna be alright now."

"How's the baby?"

Noodle looked down at her stomach.

"The baby's fine Noods."

2-D fixed the drip back into her arm and sat down on the end of the bed.

"We've got to get you better first though."

"How long have I got to stay here for?"

"Until you reach 7 stone. Maybe a while. You only weigh 5 stone 5, and that's including the baby."

2-D looked worried.

"You've got to eat Noodle. Do it for us."

He gestured round the room.

"Do it for her."

He rubbed her stomach protectively.

"I'll try."

"That's all we ask."

An hour or so later a nurse appeared with a dinner trolley. She pulled the side table over Noodle's bed and positioned a small bowl of tomato soup and a slice of white bread. She also put a large mug of warm milk.

"Try to eat some of it. OK love?"

Noodle nodded and the nurse left the room. All eyes fell on her. She gulped and stared at the soup. She'd avoided eating for so long. The thought of putting something in her mouth and making it disappear seemed almost alien.

"Come on Noods."

Noodle looked up and saw 2-D looking at her longingly.

"Just try a little bit."

He pressed the cold metal spoon into her hands. Noodle dipped the spoon in the soup and swirled it round. She couldn't do this. She just couldn't. She felt herself start to cry again. Tears fell down her face and into the soup. She hid her face and continued to cry.

2-D was losing his patience. He couldn't lose Noodle like this. She needed to eat- now. He picked up the spoon and put a small amount of soup onto it.

"Noodle?"

He brushed the hair from her face and wiped away her tears with the back of his hand.

"Please love. I can't lose you like this."

Seeing 2-D like this hurt Noodle greatly. 2-D brought the spoon up to her face, she shook her head.

"I can't."

2-D was trying to be patient.

"Think of the baby Noodle, you're not only killing yourself. You're killing her too."

2-D's face was threatening tears. Noodle couldn't take it. She faced her demons and opened her mouth.

2-D looked at her. Was she serious? Tears were still flowing down her face. She nodded. 2-D slowly put the spoon to her lips and tipped the now cold soup into her mouth. Noodle clamped her lips shut. This was weird. She closed her eyes tight and swallowed. The soup was gone.

"Well done love."

She opened her eyes and saw 2-D was crying.

"Can you have another spoonful?"

Noodle nodded weakly and opened her mouth for the next load. She kept it in her mouth, her brain was telling her to spit it out but another voice was begging her to eat it. She swallowed hard. It was gone.

Over the next two months things slowly progressed. Noodle began to eat more with each coming day. She stopped making herself sick and began to enjoy been alive. She was closely observed by the hospital staff and was released in July. She now weighed 7 stone 5 and was sent home to relax before the baby was born. She'd been through so much. The guys were over the moon and as a final homecoming party; they decided to go on a shopping spree.


	13. Clean up in aisle 3

Chapter 13

Noodle sighed. She was surrounded by shopping bags full to bursting point with things for the baby. 2-D was at the checkout paying, so she decided to sit down. Shopping is tiring work. Shopping whilst 8 months pregnant- well that's another story. She lowered herself onto a bench and wiped her head. She really wanted to go home. They'd been shopping for several hours now; Murdoc and Russel had given up ages ago and were pigging out at the fast food court. Noodle shuddered. The thought of greasy foods sickened her.

"Alright love?"

2-D dropped a vast bag to the floor and sat down next to Noodle.

"Hai, I guess. I'm really tired though and feel a bit strange."

"We'll just go find the guys then we'll go home."

He wrapped his arms round Noodle and gave her a little squeeze.

"Come on love, let's go."

He gently helped Noodle to her feet and grabbed as many bags as he could. Noodle took the smallest, lighter bags. The couple walked out the store side by side. They headed across the landing and to the staircase, the fast food court just below. When they reached the top of the stairs Noodle stopped. She dropped the bags and bent over- breathing heavily. 2-D stopped what her was doing and tried to talk to her.

"What wrong love?"

"Ahh."

Noodle let out a feeble gasp, closed her eyes and fell unconscious. Her body twisted as she fell and she went, head first… down the stairs.

"NOODLE!"

2-D screamed loudly and stared in disbelief. Noodle lay in a crumpled heap at the bottom of the staircase, a crowd had begun to form. 2-D ran down the stairs three at a time. He couldn't believe this was happening. Why now? He got to the bottom and knelt next to Noodle's limp body. She was lying, face first, in a pool of blood. 2-D slowly plucked up the courage to roll her over, he screamed at what he saw. Across her forehead was a big, ugly gash. Blood spurting from it like a crimson fountain. 2-D panicked- what could he do? He looked around him helplessly. Everyone looked as lost as he felt. He felt a weak tug on his shirt and shot round quick.

"Noodle?"

Noodle was staring up at him, her face pale- expression blank. She was holding his shirt with one hand.

"Hey D what's going on?"

Russel burst through the crowd, Murdoc in tow.

"I heard a scream."

2-D turned round and pointed at Noodle in silence.

"No. Oh God."

Russel got down on his knees next to Noodle.

"Don't just stand there! Someone call an ambulance!"

He looked back to Noodle.

"Baby girl, can you here me?"

There was no response. He waved a hand in front of her open eyes. She didn't follow them.

"D. I don't know what's wrong."

He pulled out a wad of serviettes from his pocket and dabbed at Noodle's head tenderly. She didn't move. Russel sat behind her and propped up her upper body on his stomach. 2-D put a hand on Noodle's stomach and felt a kick.

"The baby's kicking."

"That's a good sign."

The conversation was broken by a gushing sound. 2-D and Russel looked at each other blankly.

"Was that your stomach Russ?"

"No."

The pair looked down. Noodle's trousers were damp.

"Oh shit."

"What is it Russ?"

"That was her waters braking. She's having the baby NOW."

Just as Russel finished there was a high pitched scream.

"Where am I?"

Russel looked down at Noodle. She was starting to shake slightly and was screaming something in Japanese.

"What's happening to me!?"

Russel grabbed Noodle's head and held it still.

"Your waters have broken, the baby's coming."

"AARGHH!"

Noodle screamed violently and began talking Japanese again.

"Excuse me?"

Russel felt a bony hand on his shoulder and turned round.

"Pardon my intrusion. I'm a retired midwife; I may be able to help you."

"Do anything."

Russel shuffled over and let the elderly woman in. 2-D grabbed Noodle's hand.

"Noodle, there's a woman here and she's going to try and help you."

Noodle shook her head violently.

"Too soon. Too soon."

Russel grabbed her head again. He didn't want her shaking her head.

The midwife positioned herself at Noodle's legs and rolled up her sleeves.

"Pardon me love, but we need to remove your trousers."

Noodle didn't respond. She was staring at something on the ceiling. The midwife leaned over and unbuttoned Noodle's trousers, she pulled them down gently and threw them behind her. Security guards began shooing people away and a store clerk appeared next to the midwife. He asked her if she needed anything and she sent him off with a list.

Noodle was back in reality and began screaming.

"It hurts!"

"It will do love. Just try and breathe."

Noodle found 2-D's hand and grasped it tightly.

Murdoc appeared at her other side. She held out her hand and looked at him helplessly. He took her hand and she squeezed- HARD. She tried to breathe normally, but she couldn't do it.

"AARRGGHHH!" She let out a much louder scream and her breathing shot through the roof.

"Calm her down quickly! She's going to have to hyperventilate."

Noodle was hyperventilating. Murdoc grabbed an abandoned shopping bag, emptied it and hand it to 2-D. 2-D opened it and held it to Noodle's mouth. She was trying her best to calm down but was failing miserably. Russel scraped the hair back from her face. It was sweaty and streaked with blood.

"Come on love. Breathe."

Noodle's breathing was slowing down, her face a violent shade of red.

"I I'm really warm."

Noodle was stammering into the bag and let out another ear-splitting cry. She dropped the bag and rested her hands on her stomach.

"Help her take the jacket off. She's getting too warm."

Murdoc and 2-D took a hand each and tried to hold her still as Russel slid the jacket off from behind. He rolled it up and put it beside him before gently lowering Noodle back onto his stomach. Beads of sweat were dripping from her forehead, drips of blood following. She was in a lot of pain. Seconds later she let out another scream. When she stopped screaming she was silent.

"OK love?"

"I I think I need to push."

"Just a second love."

The midwife straddled Noodle's legs and bent them upwards. She dipped a cloth in the cold water and threw it to Russel who began wiping her head gingerly.

"Ok love, when you're ready."

Noodle grasped 2-D's hand tightly and bit her lip. Her eyes were shut and her face screwed up in pain, her breathing heavy and delayed.

"Mmmrrgh"

Her eyes shot open and her breathing increased.

"Nearly there love, one more push. I can see the head."

Russel went white and turned away. He didn't want to see this. Noodle closed her eyes again and concentrated on her breathing. She let out an almighty scream as she gave one final push.

Silence.

2-D and Murdoc stared open mouthed at the midwife. Dear god, please don't be dead. There was a tiny splutter, followed by a high pitched squeal. 2-D and Murdoc cheered loudly as the midwife lifted up a tiny bundle and began to dab it clean with a wet cloth. She wrapped the bundle in a towel and smiled proudly.

"Congratulations! It's a little girl."

She passed the small bundle to 2-D, and he smiled down at her.

"Noodle. She's gorgeous."

2-D stared in awe at the wonderful creature in his arms. She had big emerald eyes and a mop of teal hair. The spitting image of her mum. Her hair was a classy combination of violet and blue. She looked so angelic.

"Let's have a look dents."

2-D carefully passed his daughter over to Murdoc. He cradled her and talked about how sweet she was. Russel turned round. He saw Murdoc with the baby and couldn't help but giggle. It was so unlike him to be so- well, human.

"Shut it lards!"

Russel stopped laughing ad looked down at Noodle. She looked awful, her face now pale and drawn. Breathing slow and deep.

"Well done baby girl."

Noodle sighed and nodded her head gently. She didn't feel as though she could reply.

"Here you go Noods."

Russel held out the small bundle. Noodle didn't move. Russel took the baby from Murdoc and placed it on Noodle's chest.

"Say hello to mummy."

Noodle looked into the small bundle and started to cry.

"What's wrong Noodle?"

2-D started to worry.

"I can't believe what I nearly did. I can't believe I nearly killed something so innocent."

2-D smiled as Noodle picked up the baby and held her close. He was glad that she was alright.

Time seemed to stand still at this point. Noodle was in her own little world, and the guys were over the moon. An ambulance crew arrived to take Noodle to the hospital to get her checked out, and apart from the gash in her forehead both noodle and her daughter were fine. Things turned out for the good and things can only get better.


	14. A trojan princess

Chapter 14

"Noodle love we're home." 2-D shook Noodle's shoulder softly. She opened an eye.

"But I'm still tired." She groaned and closed her eye again.

"I'll carry you in love." 2-D leaned over Noodle and undid her seatbelt. He jumped out the back of the geep and walked round to Noodle's side, leaned over and scooped her up.

"I'll take the kid."

Before 2-D had time to answer Murdoc had already picked up the baby seat and was starring at his niece adoringly. He'd taken such a shine to her. He was going soft. 2-D giggled and Murdoc gave him an evil glare.

"Sorree."

Murdoc locked the geep and they headed inside. 2-D gently put Noodle on the sofa, pulled the hair from her face and kissed her softly. She was sound asleep.

"Night love."

2-D felt a hand on his shoulder and squealed.

"It's only me faceache! Any ideas for a name?"

Murdoc handed the baby back to her daddy.

"No. We eint thought about it yet."

"Pick something cute."

Murdoc smiled broadly, and headed for the kitchen.

"Ey Russ! Make us a sarnie will ya?"

2-D yawned. Man was he tired. He put his daughter in her carry basket and put the basket on the floor next to Noodle.

"Sleep tight my angels."

He turned quietly on his heel and made for the door. He just got outside when he heard a shrill cry.

"Shit."

2-D turned round and ran back into the room. Who made that noise? He looked over the back of the sofa, Noodle was still spark out. He picked up the basket and ran to the kitchen.

"What's that racket?!"

Murdoc yelled, he was face to face with 2-D.

"What's up with her?"

Murdoc softened instantly. His niece was upset.

"I don't know. She started crying so I brought her in here, I didn't want to wake Noodle."

"Lets have a look shall we D?"

The guys examined the baby and ruled out nappy change.

"I think she's hungry D. We'd better go wake Noodle."

"No. We can't wake her. She shattered. Why can't I feed her?"

"You don't have breasts dullard!"

"What have breasts got to do with it?"

Murdoc and Russel burst out laughing, Russel stopped suddenly when he saw the expression on 2-D's face.

"You serious man?"

"I got no idea."

"Come on I'll show you."

Russel took the baby from 2-D and made his way back to the TV room, 2-D closely following. He walked over to the sofa and shook Noodle gently.

"Baby-girl? Wake-up."

"Urgh. Give me five more minutes."

Noodle rolled over and pulled the cushion over head.

"She needs feeding Noods."

Noodle's head shot up, she looked at Russel with big innocent eyes.

"Do I have to?"

"Your kid. Your responsibility."

He passed the baby to 2-D and rolled Noodle over. She looked really tired. But this was her responsibility. He sat her up and propped some pillows behind her back. Noodle smiled weakly and began to undo her blouse. Russel turned to 2-D and gently took the bawling baby from his arms.

"Ok. Hand her over."

Russel carried the baby slowly over to Noodle and placed her in her outstretched arms. Noodle thanked him with a small nod and held the baby to her breast. Russel ruffled her hair and went back to the kitchen leaving the two of them alone.

2-D watched in amazement. He'd no idea how to feed a baby. This was weird.

"Does it hurt?"

2-D realised he'd just said his thought aloud.

"Not really. She's got no teeth, she can't bite me. It's not really comfy though."

Noodle shuffled slightly.

"Any thoughts on a name love? We can't keep calling her baby. It's mean."

"Mm."

Noodle thought for a movement.

"I like the name Troy."

Noodle jumped slightly causing the baby to hiccup.

"Great. 2-D could you just…"

Noodle passed the baby over to 2-D and began doing up her blouse.

"Troy. Unusual. I like it!"

He bounced the baby slightly trying to rid her of the hiccups. Noodle finished doing up her blouse and smiled at 2-D. She reached over and tickled the baby's stomach.

"What do you think Troy?"

The baby giggled in delight and began kicking her legs wildly. Noodle looked up into 2-D's eyes.

"Troy it is."


	15. Fate fights back

Chapter 15

Murdoc awoke with a start. Where was he? He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and sat up slowly. He was in the TV room.

"How much did I drink last night?"

Murdoc grumbled as he fell off the sofa. He landed face first on the floor.

"Ugh."

He lay there for a few minutes. He felt as though someone was watching him. He lifted himself off the floor and looked around the room. There was no-one there. He sighed deeply and headed to the toilets.

As he got close he could hear a strange sound. There was a low moan. It sounded painful. Murdoc edged his way into the toilets, not knowing what to expect. He relaxed when he saw the cause of the noise. It was Noodle.

She was kneeling on the floor clutching her stomach and moaning softly.

"What's wrong love?"

Murdoc walked into the cubicle and stud behind Noodle. She didn't answer him. She sobbed weakly and retched violently. Murdoc leaned over and quickly pulled the hair from her face. Her body was shaking.

"Oh love. What's wrong with ya?"

Noodle stopped shaking and let her body slump to the floor. Murdoc tore off a large wad of loo roll and began wiping her face. She didn't look too good. He finished wiping Noodle's face and flushed the toilet. Noodle had stopped crying and was now staring blankly at the wall.

"Is there something ya want to tell me love?"

Noodle nodded.

"Let's go to the TV room. It's comfier than in here."

He bent down and picked Noodle up, carried her gently back to the TV room. Her face was paler than usual, black marks forming under her eyes. He sat her in the chair and went to get a glass of water. Noodle stared at her feet and sighed. How could she tell him? How could she tell him what she'd found?

"Here ya go love."

Murdoc passed Noodle the glass of water and watched her drink. Her face was expressionless, she looked vacant. When she's finished he took the glass from her and put it on the floor.

"Now love. What is it you want to tell me?"

Before Noodle could answer Troy started to cry.

Noodle put her head in her hands and groaned.

"I'll get her."

Murdoc left the room and returned a few minutes later, cradling Troy in his arms.

"I think she's hungry love."

"I can't do that."

Noodle still had her head in her hands and started shifting in her seat. Murdoc knelt down in front of her.

"What do ya mean love."

"It hurts."

"Oh love. You've got to feed her. She's too young to go onto the bottle. Here."

He passed Troy to Noodle and pulled her up straight.

"Go on love."

Noodle looked down at Troy and burst into tears.

"I can't do it."

"Why not?"

Murdoc was starting to lose his patience.

"I I I …"

"Continue love."

Noodle gulped.

"I've found a lump."

Murdoc stared at her in shock.

"You mean…"

Murdoc gestured at his chest.

Noodle nodded in silence.

"Shit. This could be serious. Is it big?"

Noodle laid Troy on her knees and started to undo her nightshirt. She pulled it back over her shoulders and took Murdoc's hand. She positioned it over her left breast.

"There. Feel it."

Murdoc blushed. This felt so wrong. He did as he was told and came across a large lump. He pulled his hand away and looked Noodle in the eyes.

"When did you find it?"

"Nearly two weeks ago."

Noodle hid her face and sobbed.

"Why didn't you tell us?"

"I didn't want to worry you."

Noodle was crying hysterically.

"Am I going to die Murdoc-san?"

"No love. We're going to sort this out. Today."

He leant over and wrapped his arms round Noodle. She was shaking and had given herself hiccups from all the crying.

"It's gonna be alright love."

He stroked her hair gently and hushed her back to sleep.


	16. Death come knocking

Chapter 16

"I'm afraid it's cancerous. You've got several months left to live."

The words spun in Noodle's mind. She couldn't believe what she'd just been told. She had a loving family, a beautiful daughter and a caring boyfriend- and she was going to die. Noodle stared at the off-white walls of her private room in the hospital. Several months ago she wanted to die. Now she realised she didn't want to die fate stood in her way. She gulped a breath of air and started sobbing again. The doctors had told her there was nothing but chemotherapy, and that would make her really ill. But if she didn't have the treatment, she wouldn't live to see Troy's first Christmas. It broke her heart.

The guys sat in silence around the room. They felt awkward- no-one knew what to say. 2-D cradled Troy in his arms and thought of a future without Noodle. He too, began to cry. She'd been through so much, and this is how she gets repaid. He looked at his beautiful Noodle crying her eyes out, covered in wires and machines and at his daughter. How would he cope? He couldn't raise her by himself. He was hopeless.

"2-D-san. Could you come here a minute?"

2-D wiped his eyes and knelt by Noodle's bedside. She slithered a hand through the wires and took hold of 2-D's hand.

"I can understand if you want to leave me."

She breathed deeply.

"I've caused you nothing but trouble, and you don't deserve that."

She stared at 2-D and wiped the tears from her eyes with the back of her hand.

"Love. I could never, ever leave you."

Since he couldn't hug her he planted a soft kiss on her lips. She returned the kiss weakly.

Troy began to cry. It was as if she knew what was going on. 2-D picked her up and placed her on Noodle's stomach. Noodle placed one of her skinny fingers into Troy's hand and cooed softly as her daughter closed her hand into a fist.

"I'm going to miss you sweetheart."

She kissed Troy softly on the forehead and breathed in her scent.

"I don't know how much more waiting I can take."

She passed Troy back to 2-D how put her in the basket on his chair.

"I hate waiting. Time goes so much slower, and painful."

2-D stroked her face delicately. He didn't care how slow time went. He couldn't lose her so soon. Noodle yawned and closed her eyes. 2-D grabbed her shoulders and lowered her down onto the bed.

"I love you Noodle. Don't ever forget that."

Noodle didn't respond but squeezed his fingers lightly. 2-D looked at Murdoc and Russel and the tears fell again.


	17. This is the end

Chapter 17

Noodle's treatment continued over the next four months, and Noodle became very ill. There was nothing else the doctors could do. They took the guys into a private room and explained the situation. They decided it was for the best to let her come home and die in peace. The chemotherapy was not working and the cancer had taken over most of her body. The doctors say she's got four weeks- tops.

Noodle was released on the fifteenth of December. Only ten days till Christmas. She could no only just walk and had to be carried everywhere or use a wheelchair. It was so heart braking to see he like this. Russel pictured her, the day she came out of the crate, the day she had Troy and couldn't believe that this was the same girl, limp yet stiff in his arms. She spent most of her time, motionless on the sofa. She cried. When they got home Noodle watched them putting up the tree. She couldn't take seeing them so sad. Her pain increased. She realised it wouldn't be long now. And on Christmas Eve she decided to take action.

The guys had gone to bed early and left Noodle downstairs on the sofa. She was alone. She rolled of the sofa and crept across the floor. Each step a stabbing pain in her body. She grabbed a pen and found some paper. With shaking hands she scrawled a note…

**Goodbye.**

**I'm sorry to have put you through so much. I don't want to die but I'm dieing anyway. Ever since I arrived I've caused you nothing but trouble and pain. I can't help myself; I'm a worthless mother to Troy. She cries when I go near her. She's forgotten me already; I want you all to do the same. I've always loved you and will never forget the happy times we shared.**

**Just forget I ever existed and carry on.**

**Noodle**

**Xxxx**

As she finished the note, she noticed she was crying. It was for the best though. She flicked the switch on the table light and positioned the paper on top so it projected on the ceiling. No going back now.

She crawled over to the stereo and put in her Eminem cd, selected the track and put it on repeat. As the music began to play Noodle began to untangle the lights from the tree. She made a large loop at one end and a large not at the other. She slipped the large loop over her head and put the knot in her mouth. She looked up. On the ceiling was a revolving fan- perfect. Using all her strength, Noodle staggered on to a chair and tied the other end to the fan. She muttered something in Japanese before kicking the chair from below her. Her body swung softly and her eyes closed. This is it. This is the end.


	18. An angel on earth

Chapter 18

**PLEASE NOTE: - IF YOU LIKE SAD TRAGIC STORIES AND ARE HAPPY WITH THE FACT THAT NOODLE IS DEAD YOU MAY NOT WANT TO READ ANYMORE. IF YOU WISH NOODLE TO LIVE THEN PLEASE, READ ON:-)****:-)****:-)****:-)****:-)****:-)****:-)****:-)****:-)****:-)****:-)****:-)****:-)****:-)****:-)****:-)****:-)****:-)****:-)****:-)****:-)****:-)****:-)****:-)****:-)****:-)****:-)****:-)****:-)****:-)****:-)****:-)****:-)****:-)****:-)****:-)****:-)****:-)****:-)****:-)****:-)****:-)****:-)****:-)****:-)****:-)****:-)****:-)****:-)****:-)****:-)****:-)****:-)****:-)****:-)**

"Love. Wake up love."

"Where am I?"

"Can't you guess?"

Noodle opened her eyes and looked around. A young woman with long golden hair stood before her.

"Am I dead?"

"Yes love. You're at the gates of heaven."

Noodle felt her body. She felt light and airy. She felt an itch on her shoulder and went to scratch it, she stopped suddenly. There was something on her back.

"Here love. What do you think?"

The woman held a large mirror in front of Noodle. Noodle squealed.

"I've got wings!"

"Yes. Beautiful ones too."

Noodle reached over and ruffled the lilac feathers gently.

"Cool."

The woman clicked her fingers and the mirror disappeared. In its place, a large leather journal with the word "NAMES" on the front in italic writing.

"Now love. What's your name?"

Noodle stopped playing with her wings and answered the woman politely.

"My name is Noodle."

"Right."

The woman flicked through the journal, stopped at a page and ran her finger down. Her smile quickly vanished.

"Noodle love. You're not expected for at least sixty years yet. Why are you here?"

Noodle sighed. She began to tell the angel why she was here when she started crying.

"You shouldn't have done it love. You need them. Look at you."

Noodle didn't reply, just sobbed miserably.

"Let's see what going on back downstairs shall we?"

Noodle looked up.

"What do you mean?"

"Come."

The angel was walking towards a vast well and beckoning Noodle towards her. Noodle obediently followed.

The angel positioned herself in front of the well and told Noodle to do the same. She leant over and plucked a shimmering feather from Noodle's back blew on it softly and dropped it into the well.

The water rippled. Vibrant colours merging together. The ripples cleared and an image appeared. It was one Noodle knew well- it was home.

Noodle stared at the image in the well; it was like watching a live reality TV show. But this was different. She felt tears running down her face as she watched her brothers frantically untangle her from where she hung. Guilt stabbed at her as she saw 2-D drop to the floor screaming- Murdoc laid her on the floor and stroked her face softly. His lips were moving, but no sound could be heard.

"What have I done?"

Noodle screamed hysterically, tears pouring from her eyes.

"I've destroyed them."

A shrill cry came from the well. Noodle dived back to it and saw the commotion. Murdoc entered the room, Troy in his arms. She was crying. He walked slowly over to Noodle's limp body and placed Troy on her chest. Noodle screamed again. She couldn't believe what she'd done. A single tear fell into the well and the image disappeared. Noodle felt a light hand on her shoulder. She turned. The angel was stood behind her and looked deep into Noodle's eyes.

"I want to go home."

Noodle chocked on her tears.

"I know you do love."

The angel embraced Noodle in a tight hug and stroked her hair gently. They remained like that for a few moments, the angel pulled away suddenly.

"There is a way."

"Huh?"

Noodle looked up. Her eyes bright.

"There is a way for you to go back, but there is a catch."

"What's that?"

"If I send you back to earth you will be cured of your former illness. Your spirit will be pure. But you must earn our trust."

"How?"

"You will be put through a series of tests. Just little things. Things that have tipped you over in the past. You must overcome these tasks to prove you want to live."

Noodle nodded.

"I can do that."

Noodle leaned over and hugged the angel tightly.

"Thank you for giving me another chance."

The angel pulled away from her.

"There is something else though. Since you have died you will still have your wings."

"I can cope with that."

"Also. If you show any signs of regretting your life, I can easily bring you back. O.K?"

Noodle thanked the angel numerous times. The angel lifted her up and positioned her on top of the well.

"Remember Noodle. I'm watching you."

Noodle closed her eyes and the angel pushed her into the well.

There was a blur of colours and sounds. Noodle felt as though she was on some kind of crazy roller-coaster. The colours began to fade and Noodle could see a bright light not too far ahead. There was a sudden jolt as Noodle's spirit re-entered her body. She felt the cold floor beneath her and knew she was home.

Noodle opened her eyes. Troy was lying on her chest, crying softly. 2-D at her side, also in tears. Russel and Murdoc were sat on the sofa stiffly- in silence. Noodle looked down. 2-D had his hand wrapped round Noodle's. She squeezed it softly and smiled.

"Don't cry my angel, I'm home."


End file.
